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But like a love affair, looking back you remember the happy times best-the things that drew you in, attracted you in the first place, the things that kept you coming back for more.I hope I can give the reader a taste of those things and those times.I'm usually the guy they call in to some high-profile operation when the first chef turns out to be a psychopath, or a mean, megalomaniacal drunk.This book is about street-level cooking and its practitioners. I've been hustling a nicely paid living out of this life for a long time-most of it in the heart of Manhattan, the 'bigs'-so I know a few things. Of course, there's every possibility this book finish me in the business. Heavy drinking, drugs, screwing in the dry-goods area, unappetizing revelations about bad food-handling and unsavory industry-wide practices.

I'm calling my sous-chef, or a former sous-chef, or my saucier, someone I work with or have worked with over the last twenty-plus years. In the small, incestuous community of chefs and cooks in New York City, I know the people, and in my kitchen, I know how to behave (as opposed to in real life, where I'm on shakier ground).

I'm not spilling my guts about everything I've seen, learned and done in my long and checkered career as dishwasher, prep drone, fry cook, grillardin, saucier, sous-chef and chef because I'm angry at the business, or because I want to horrify the dining public.

I'd still to be a chef, too, when this thing comes out, as this life is the only life I really know.

No, I want to tell you about the dark recesses of the restaurant underbelly-a subculture whose centuries-old militaristic hierarchy and ethos of 'rum, buggery and the lash' make for a mix of unwavering order and nerve-shattering chaos-because I find it all quite comfortable, like a nice warm bath. I want the professionals who read this to enjoy it for what it is: a straight look at a life many of us have lived and breathed for most of our days and nights to the exclusion of 'normal' social interaction.

Never having had a Friday or Saturday night off, always working holidays, being busiest when the rest of the world is just getting out of work, makes for a sometimes peculiar world-view, which I hope my fellow chefs and cooks will recognize.

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